Auction Mart: Internet clearance bin

Every year Global Winnipeg holds an internet auction through Auction Mart. You can bid on goods and services and hopefully get something you want at less than what you would normally pay for it.

Last April I bought an electric fireplace from a local furniture store. It came packed in re-used bubblewrap and copious amounts of packing tape. I know the wrap was re-used because it had labels on it for living room furniture.

When I finally got around to unwrapping it I found some damage to the finish on the top. Not great, but oh well ... I guess we got a good deal on it, as long as it heats up the rec room ...

So I plugged it in and ... okay ... now what? I presume there is some way to turn this thing on but there's no remote control. After a short search I found three toggle switches tucked away in a corner of the unit, but after trying them in every combination at least 3 times nothing happened. Well, okay, maybe I should check the manual.

There is no manual.

So I copied down some numbers from the back of the fireplace and looked up the fireplace on the internet and eventually found a pdf version of the manual on the manufacturer's website. "The unit is operated with the ON and OFF buttons on the remote control." Yes, well ... I don't have a remote.

So I emailed the manufacturer with the model number and explained my problem..

The fireplace that we purchased will not start up. There is power going to the unit, but the unit shows no signs of life when turned on. I have tried all combinations of the control buttons. Does this model come with a remote control?

"The manual switch needs to be in the II position in order to use the supplied remote and in the I position if you use the manual switches on the insert.."

The fireplace did not come with a remote, and the switch on the right does not have a 'II' Position. It has only 'I' and 'O'. Is this model supposed to have a remote?

"Yes this model should come with an on/off functioning remote only. Where did you purchase this model and what is the serial number off the sticker on the rear that tells me when it was manufactured."

I provided the info but heard nothing back. So, I contacted the furniture store in an ornery mood and threatened to return it, but apparently because I bought it through Auction Mart it could not be returned. When you buy through the auction you buy it as is, except you can't see how it is when you buy it.

To the store's credit, they did send away for a remote control for me. I drove down and picked up the remote, which also came with a different power adapter. Alright ... well maybe I can get this thing running now.

I plugged the new adapter in and pressed ON and ... we have a humming sound! We have heat! But ... there is no light. Isn't there supposed to be some kind of flame effect or something?

So the next step is to check the light bulbs. After reading how to change the light bulbs in my pdf manual on the computer, I pulled the thing apart and found this:

Nice.

These aren't ordinary burnt out light bulbs, but like .. exploded bulbs or something. What the hell happened to this thing. Did it get hit by lightning?

Anyhow, I replaced the bulbs and FINALLY it's fully functional. For how long who knows, but for now it's working, and doesn't even look that bad as long as you don't look too closely.

Still, this cost me far too much time and effort, and wasn't much of a deal all things considered. My advice to you is to beware: you can get good deals on on-line auctions like Auction Mart, but some retailers simply use them as a clearance bin for crap they can't otherwise sell.

Gone phishing / letters from Uganda

I am writing this from somebody else's computer. Mine blew up the other night. Not with flames and all, but in an explosion of hard drive errors. I had it booted up in safe mode when the phone rang.

*ring*

Hello?

Hi. I'm from Microsoft support. We've been getting error messages from your computer. I will walk you through some steps to fix the problem.

(Microsoft calling me to help me with my computer? This is highly unusual ... but I have been having problems lately...) You've been getting messages from my computer?

Yes, for a long time. You computer has been infected with viruses and malware for a long time.
(Well I have had virus problems, but why did they wait so long to call if they knew I had a problem? ) I can take control of your computer and get rid of the problem, now go and turn on your computer.

My computer is on, but it's in safe mode so I doubt you can take it over; but I'm not sure I want to ...

What key is next to your left control key?

Uh .. the windows key.

Good, press the windows key and the "R" key.

What does that do?

Just hold down the windows key and press R. What do you see?

Tell me what it does first.

I'm going to help you fix your problem. Just hold down the windows key and press R. What do you see?

Geeze, okay: the 'run' command opens. (Boy is this guy ever rude...)

Good, now type e-v-e-n-t-v-w-r.. What do you see?

What does that do?

Just type e-v-e-n-t-v-w-r. What do you see in front of you?

Tell me what it does first.

Just type it sir. What do you see?

Look dude, I don't know who the hell you are. I'm not going to type it unless you tell me what it does first.

Just type the command. Okay, what do you see on your screen?

Can I have your phone number?

No, just type the command. I'll give you the phone number after you log in. Now enter e-v-e-n-t-v-w-r. What do you see in front of you?

I'm going to hang up unless you give me your phone number.

Just type the command first.

Okay goodbye. *click*


A quick search on the 'net shows that this scam has been going on for a long time. Eventvwr itself is harmless, but it produces computer logs which few people understand and may appear to indicate that your computer has a problem. The scammers use this to convince you to download a program which allows them to obtain control of your PC, and then you're fucked.

The weak link in this scam is the notion that Microsoft would actually call you to help you with your computer. The only thing that made this even remotely plausible in my case is that by coincidence my computer completely crapped out shortly before he called. I know my readers are far too sharp to fall for something like this, so I post this for your ammusement rather than as a warning necessarily.

This isn't the first time I've been scammed. My favourite was a 2-page handwritten letter in 2003 from Uganda. It had Ugandan stamps and was post-marked Uganda. The return address was a box at the Kabale Police Station, which appears to be a real place. It refered to me by name and came to my address, but it did not ask for money outright. The letter writer claimed he was a police officer who was guarding my father. He says "It is a really long time since we last met at Kabalagala Kansanga Kampala at the residence of your father... ". Wow, thats pretty bloody specifc! It's also not accurate. He goes on to mention other inaccurate details including relative's names and so on ... to the point where I almost wonder if the letter was legit and just went to the wrong person. It's impossible that they would randomly mail that to somebody who actually fit the narrative of the letter.

The letter ends with him explaining that his brother died and left him with 5 kids, and that he is struggling with money. Ah here we go, I thought. He wants money.. Still, the whole thing was so intriguing that I held on to the letter. I would scan it for you, except that my PC is toast. Maybe some day, if I ever make it to Uganda, I'll stop in at the Kabale Police Station and ask if Tumwebaze Alfred ever worked there.

Update on Longboat development

The big downtown development announcement this summer was an impressive new 20-story hotel/office/retail building across from the MTS Centre at Portage & Donald. (OMC / Me) In the comments of my post on that, fellow blogger Bryan Scott wondered about the future of the Alabama Building and the tenants within. Well, now we know ...

I picked up some information today as I was ordering my clubhouse sandwich at the Wagon Wheel restaurant. The owners of the Wagon Wheel were informed yesterday that their building on Hargrave would be torn down. The Alabama Building containing Bryan's favorite Ethiopean restaurant on Ellice and Hargrave will disappear as well, to make way for a parkade.

But fear not my hungry friends. Arrangements are being made to revive at least the Wagon Wheel. I don't know about the other tenants, but I am sure they have all been made offers of some kind as well. The new location is up in the air at the moment. It could be in a storefront on Donald in the primary building, or in a retail location on the main floor of the parkade. In anycase, the lady at the Wagon Wheel seemed pretty confident that the diner would continue on, which is good news for anybody who likes clubhouse sandwiches. Perhaps they can add a few more booths and a washroom.

Provincial Income Tax Comparo

Hi there. With the Manitoba budget coming down this week, I thought it might be a nice idea to have a chart of how our provincial personal income taxes stack up against the other provinces. You know, just for reference purposes.

Manitoba is the bright yellow one. In case you have trouble finding it, it is the line that is higher than any other line for all incomes below $49,500, and second highest after that.

source: CRA & Taxtips.ca

The comparison excludes Quebec because they do their own thing, and PEI because they are too small to matter. No offense. I'm sure PEI is a very nice province; I just don't see them stealing any head office jobs from us anytime soon (although two of their three tax rates are lower than Manitoba's too.)

related: caring for the lower class

This is a public service announcement ...

... with FISH!

When you think fresh, tasty fish in Manitoba, what do you think of? When you go fishing in the Whiteshell for something to cook up over the fire with a stick of butter, freshly squeezed lemon, and a sprinkle of pepper, what are you trying to catch? Jack fish? Didn't think so. Pickerel? Ya, that's more like it!

Well I've got news for you, buddy. That wasn't a pickerel that they served you at Fude the other day. The fish that everybody calls pickerel in these parts isn't pickerel at all, but walleye. At one time, I thought pickerel was just another name for walleye. In fact, I was so sure of it that I put money on it. I lost my money. A pickerel is a completely different fish.

So if a pickerel isn't a walleye, what is it? A pickerel is a member of family Esocidae, the family that includes the muskellunge (a.k.a. musky) and the dreaded jack fish (a.k.a. northern pike, or you might say, northern pickerel). Yes: a pickerel is a version of that ugly bony fish that you always throw back in the lake -- after taking a picture of it because it's the biggest thing that you've pulled out of the water since that incident with your drunk friend at the pool party. There are different types of pickerel -- the chain pickerel pictured below seems to be the most common -- but it's rare to catch any of them in Manitoba.

Here is a walleye (a member of the perch family):

Here is a pickerel:


Why do we call walleye pickerel? I don't know. We're not the only ones who do it, though. I saw "pickerel" on the menu of a restaurant in Saskatoon. Also, apparently in some circles walleye is called "pike" which is almost worse than calling it pickerel. However, I saw "walleye" on a menu just south of the border, so I think it's mostly a local quirk.

So there you have it. Now get your license and go out and catch yourself something to eat this weekend.