Should Fermor Avenue be renamed?

My last post was about an idea to rename the Perimeter Highway after Winnipeg-born national hero Terry Fox. You can read more about it here and sign the petition here.

Response to renaming the Perimeter Highway has been lukewarm, both in the comments of my blog and in various web-polls. Perhaps the choice of thoroughfare needs to be tweaked. In the Free Press poll, 46% of respondents liked the idea in principle but thought a different road should be chosen.

If we were to choose a different road, what road would that be?

I nominate Fermor Avenue.

1.  Fermor Avenue is part of the Trans-Canada Highway. The Trans-Canada Highway is (obviously) the route that Terry Fox was taking on the vast majority of his Marathon of Hope across Canada, and it was the highway he was running on when his journey ended.
2. Of the two Trans-Canada routes past Winnipeg -- around the Perimeter or through the city via Fermor, St.Anne's, St. Mary's, Main, Broadway and Portage -- it is almost certain that Terry would have run through the city, not around it. Running through the city would have brought out more supporters, more media attention and by extension more money for cancer research. It is also a shorter route than the Perimeter
3. Of the roads within Winnipeg that comprise the Trans-Canada Highway, Fermor is the least hassle to rename. There are NO business or residential addresses along Trans-Canada portion of Fermor, so NO businesses or homes would be affected.

 To clarify that last point, there are indeed businesses and homes with Fermor addresses, but those are west of St.Anne's Rd, so they are not part of the Trans-Canada Highway.

click to enlarge

You might be thinking 'hold on thar Baba Looey .. aren't there a whole bunch of businesses along Fermor in Southdale?' Yes there are, but they all have Vermillion addresses, not Fermor.

If Fermor was to be renamed in it's entirety, then there are 34 residential addresses that would need to change, as well as addresses for the YMCA, St.Vital Library and a minor Manitoba Hydro substation. On the other hand, if only the Trans-Canada portion of Fermor were to be renamed, then that would break up the naming continuity of the street creating yet another multi-name thoroughfare in Winnipeg.

Fermor west of St.Anne's Rd

One other concern: who was Fermor? Renaming a street in honour of somebody risks dishonouring the person for whom the street was originally named. I don't even know where to start when it comes to researching this sort of thing, but the street listings from the Manitoba Historical Society do not list anything for Fermor Avenue, so I'll assume this Fermor character was not anybody important. Possibly a small-time blogger or something.

The current proposal to rename the Perimeter Highway would involve dealing with the Province, whereas renaming Fermor is within the City's jurisdiction. Winnipeg's current mayor Sam Katz has not been shy about renaming streets in the past, and a photo-op with a member of Terry Fox's family would provide a nice distraction from auditors reports and the other tribulations of the embattled mayor.

Few plans are perfect, and renaming a significant street is always going to involve compromises or sacrifices. However, if we're going to rename a street after Terry Fox it ought to be a significant street, not some back lane. I happen to think that Fermor Avenue makes a lot of sense.

*****

Fun fact: did you know that there was a notable Winnipeg Historian named Harry Shave? Now that's someone we should name a street after.

Should the Perimeter Highway be renamed?

How do you feel about the name "Perimeter Highway"? Is it too obvious? Is it getting a little stale? Maybe time for a change?

One blogger is calling for the highway to be renamed in honour of Terry Fox.

As most Manitobans know by now, the national hero was born here in Winnipeg, yet there is very little to signify that. A few years ago there was a movement to rename Wayoata school in Transcona in honour of Terry Fox, but in spite of the word "wayoata" not having any real meaning in any language that anyone was familiar with, the motion was denied.

More recently, a bust of Terry was installed in the Citizens Hall of Fame around the formal gardens in Assiniboine Park. It's easy to miss, but it's something .. I guess.

Some people think that an inconspicuous bust in a corner of a park is not enough -- that a native son as notable as Terry deserves greater recognition. One such fellow who writes under the pseudonym "Purple Rod" at the blog The Purple Rod (you probably could have guessed that) has started a petition to rename the Perimeter Highway after Fox.

Let's name a highway after a Winnipeg-born hero, and the recipient of the Order of Canada: Terry Fox. Despite suffering from Cancer, Terry Fox had a dream to raise money for cancer research, by running a marathon across Canada. He gave his life to help others. The annual Terry Fox Run, first held in 1981, has grown to involve millions of participants in over 60 countries and is now the world's largest one-day fundraiser for cancer research; over $500 million has been raised in his name.

Terry Fox never made it to Winnipeg on his Marathon of Hope cross-country run. Had he made it this far, he would not have run on the Perimeter Highway. He would have crossed the Perimeter and run straight through the city to take advantage of maximized fundraising exposure, not to mention the shorter distance. However we can't very well rename Portage Avenue. That would be a hellishly expensive nightmare. The Perimeter highway, by contrast, has few businesses that call it home and therefore few addresses that need to change.


Does it make sense to honour a man who, while being an iconic national hero, spent the majority of his life elsewhere?

Is renaming a road a good way to do that?

Is the Perimeter Highway a good road to rename?

If you answered "yes" to these questions, then you should sign the petition:
https://www.change.org/en-CA/petitions/the-city-of-winnipeg-change-the-name-of-the-perimeter-highway-to-terry-fox-drive

Zipper Merge

So I was driving recently on the freeway in Saskatoon and ... oh wait ... maybe I should explain for those of you who have never driven in a city besides Winnipeg: a "freeway" is a road with no stoplights where you can drive at highway speeds. Saskatoon, a city one third the population of Winnipeg, has one. It's called Circle Drive.

As I was saying ... I was driving on Circle Drive in Saskatoon when I approached a construction project to extend the freeway to the west. That's when I saw it: a sign that said "ZIPPER MERGE AHEAD".

source: http://ckom.com/story/circle-drive-millar-back-normal/110318

The concept is simple: drivers are to stay in their lane until the point at which one of them ends, and then they are to take turn merging -- one from the left, one from the right -- like a zipper.

I quite like it.

It's a nice alternative to the situation that we normally encounter here in Winnipeg. That is, the majority of drivers all pile into the single lane that is continuing, causing a huge backup in traffic. Then a minority of drivers zip ahead and cut in at the front of the line or somewhere close to it.

There are a couple of problems with this, one being that it creates an unnecessarily long traffic queue, another being that it causes animosity among drivers. The drivers who get in line right at the start of the queue and wait patiently as the line trudges along resent the selfish nimrods who zip past them in the empty lane and cut in at the front.

But why should you get in line half a mile before the construction starts when there is a perfectly good lane that can legally take you right up to the merge zone? That isn't rational.

I've been on both sides. Sometimes I get in line, and when I do I get annoyed at those who don't. Depending on what kind of mood I'm in that day, I may even do my best to keep them from merging in front of me. Sometimes, if I'm in an unusually pissy mood, or if the guy trying to merge is driving a pickup truck with a license plate that says "GORJUS" and is wearing a ball cap backwards (I have seen this), I'll even tease them by leaving space for him to merge and then closing up to the car in front of me at the last second, and then I'll go extra slow to give the guy behind me a chance to close up behind me too.

That's how I roll.

However, sometimes I'm the douche bag who zips up the empty lane, although in my head I say to myself "Oops, is this lane closing off? Gosh, I hadn't noticed. I guess I ought to merge over here at some point." -- as if I can telepathically communicate to the drivers waiting in the queue that I didn't mean to drive up the empty lane, it's just that I didn't notice the construction signs. Silly me.

However, I won't drive right to the front of the line because that would be rude, and it would negate the little excuse that I made for myself that I only inadvertently failed to get in line.

This is all normal behaviour, right? Good. Just checking.

Sometimes those who set up the construction sites make it worse than it needs to be. For example, the signage for the construction on the Pembina overpass on the south Perimeter Highway in Winnipeg begins more than 2 kilometers in advance of the lane closure, with signs that warn you that there is a lane closure ahead and the speed limit is reducing to 70 km/h. As a result, most drivers pull over into the right hand lane and slow down to 70 km/h on the highway so far in advance of the construction that you can't even see where the construction begins.

*****

In writing this blog post, I found out that the zipper merge is a new thing for Saskatoon. They only started to experiment with it in May, because, as one person put it, "People have been so bad historically in this city anyway on road construction and merging that anything might improve it".

Saskatoon borrowed the idea from the state of Minnesota, a pioneer in the zipper merge revolution, and so far they have found that it works quite well. My own experience with it was pretty good. I mean, about as good as merging at a road construction site can be. It's not comparable to, say, a full-body hot oil massage, but you know ... it wasn't painful.

The Minnesota Department of Transportation says that the zipper merge "has proven to help traffic flow by decreasing queue lengths as much as 35 percent" and "reduced lane-changing conflicts and sudden-stop crashes."

However, even in Minnesota not everyone is an advocate. One blogger: "I get how the zipper merge is supposed to work, the problem is the people who don’t. ... The zipper merge is going to be this century’s conversion to the metric system in the ’70s. Great idea, made perfect sense, and was dead on arrival."

Much like a roundabout, I don't know how you could fail to understand how it works. Having never experienced such a thing before, I found it exceedingly easy to understand. Mind you, I have underestimated the stupidity of other drivers before.

Even if some people don't catch on to the concept of a zipper, I think it's worth trying out here in Winnipeg because it eliminates the dilemma of deciding between two bad options: burn 5 minutes of your life in a line of cars, or be rude and selfish by cruising to the front of the queue.

Taking turns is something we're taught to do as little kids. As adults driving cars it shouldn't be that hard.

Exchange Brew Pub

A column in the Free Press this weekend - Exchange brew pub might make Irish eyes smile - correctly points out that Winnipeg does not have a brew pub. I am not quite sure why this is, but it is shameful.

The author, a Benjamin Gillies, also reminded us of the complete lack of foresight that our civic government had when it rejected a proposal to sell an abandoned pump house in the exchange district to an entrepreneur to create a unique brew pub: the Pump House Restaurant and Brewing Co. This, and the nonesense that followed whereby the city lost $600,000 in a failed attempt to do something with the building, is also shameful.

Benji (can I call you Benji? Good... thanks) goes on to propose a reviving that old brewpub idea:

"Should another developer approach the city with a solid business plan for establishing a microbrew restaurant, the government should seriously consider donating the pumping station to the project (as it did for the Red River College's downtown campus).
Instead of holding onto an empty building as it slowly succumbs to demolition by neglect, the city would be putting the heritage structure to productive use and earning tax revenue in the process. It would also be contributing to the growing list of unique attractions that make Winnipeg a more dynamic place to live in and visit. And that is definitely something worth raising a glass to."

The location is great. It's an area that growing in popularity with condo developments springing up, and an interesting development directly across the street where Sunstone Group is developing a boutique hotel and outdoor plaza area on the waterfront.

The concept includes a restaurant and wine bar to be built in another old building: the Harbour Master building that juts directly out onto the Red River.

If the James Avenue Pumping Station doesn't work out, that doesn't mean that we should give up on a brew pub in the exchange district. It's a great idea, and a natural fit in my opinion. There are lots of heritage buildings with wood beams and rustic brick walls -- not to mention space for vats and equipment -- that could make a great brew pub location.

ahem...

Source: www.winnipeglovehate.com/

There is certainly more to this absence of brew pubs than a shortage of appropriate spaces, and I suspect part of the answer lies in mounds of red tape. I haven't had an opportunity to compare the Manitoba brew pub application process to those of other provinces, but given that the MLCC has 12 different types of liquor licenses, one could guess that anything having to do with booze in this province is probably unnecessarily complicated.

Nevertheless, I am hopeful that our local beer diversity may increase. One reason: The Government of Manitoba is slowly relaxing some of it's liquor laws. Some initial changes were made in 2011 and 2012, and you can view some more proposed changes here. (Thanks Ben). Though the changes are mostly incremental, the general tendency is to make liquor regulations less restrictive, which is a good thing for consumers. For brew pubs, one of the most important changes I think is this one:

"Brew pubs will be able to sell their product on an off-sale basis and through other retailers such as Liquor Marts."

There is also a brew pub concept brewing in Brandon MB. The Brewtinerie, to be established in an old fire hall, is not yet a sure thing but it's an exciting proposal for beeries, especially those in Brandon, and I see it as a good omen for Winnipeg.

Another local beer development that is worth mentioning is Farmery Brewing: a true made-in-Manitoba beer. Read more about it here.

While the old Waterfront pump house might have missed it's opportunity to become a brew pub, I am optimistic about the beer landscape expanding beyond our existing local beer heroes Half Pints Brewing Co. and Fort Garry Brewing Co. because of the developments mentioned above.

Proposed new Winnipeg Jets logo!

Now that we have the matter of selecting a pope over and done with, we can get on with other priorities like creating a new Winnipeg Jets logo.

Why do the Jets need a new logo? It's a perfectly fine logo, although I did nit-pick it somewhat when it came out.

However there is a reason all teams except the Detroit Red Wings and New Jersey Devils have come out with so-called "third jerseys" or alternate uniforms: marketing. There is always more money to be made from the fans, and a new jersey with a new logo is one way to do that. It also gives the fans more choice.

By the way, it makes sense to me that the Red Wings would resist creating an alternate jersey and logo -- they have a classic original six look that's hard to improve upon. Possibly the best overall uniforms in the league -- but the Devils?? The Devils have one of the worst logos in the NHL: an "N" and "J" fused together into a deformed faceless demon. There are sooo many things you could do with their logo, like this or this.

I am sure the Jets will come out with an alternate jersey at some point. Whether it's a WHA-era retro jersey or something completely new, it's going to happen.

An alternate logo should be a different look and feel than the original. For example, if the original is cartoonish or playful, then the alternate should be more sedate or formal. Some teams choose to go with throw-back uniforms and logos pulled from the past, or designed to look like they came from the past. Some replace their picture-based crests with plain text logos. This is fine too.

Phoenix shows us an example of what not to do. Their alternate logo is in the same style as their regular crest, making it almost completely pointless ...

The Jets' crest is of the more serious variety, therefore I envision something a little more playful or whimsical as their alternate crest. For this I look to their farm team, the St. John's Ice Caps. I happen to like the Ice Caps logo. It has a nice bold aesthetic.

It is certainly in a different style than the Jet's current logo, and it has the additional shade of blue which could be worked in to the redesigned uniforms, along with the grey.

So what might this new logo look like?



Ladies and gentlemen .... the new Winnipeg Jets logo!

The alternate Jets logo above is the property of the author of this blog. If you wish to use this logo for commercial or personal use, please contact the author in the comment section of this blog post or by email at: cherenkov *at* live *dot* com

Unibroue and the MLCC

Everybody knows that the Manitoba Liquor Control Commission (the "LC") is a communist instrument to control our drinking behavior and limit our quality of life so that, like a bunch of deprived North Koreans, we plunge into a depressed malaise that prevents us from caring about life enough to bother rebelling against the government that is suppressing us in the first place. It's kind of like Stockholm Syndrome, except with beer instead of chains.

That said, Liquor Marts are generally well located across the city, and I have no complaints about the selection of wine and hard liquor. There are also independent wine stores that you can shop at, although they too operate within the firm embrace of the ever-caring and wise LC.

Beer, however is a problem. The LCs have a limited selection, and precious little refrigerated beer. Hotel beer vendors, of which there are none in my neighbourhood, have more cold beer but an even worse selection, and under archaic laws are required to operate in association with a hotel .. which is why there are none in my neighbourhood. For the life of me, I cannot imagine why independent beer boutiques should not be allowed to operate in Manitoba.



I went to a Festivus party recently, and brought with me a 750 ml bottle of Unibroue Éphémère. During the traditional Festivus Airing of Grievances, I expressed the following peeve of mine: that Unibroue beers are only available in Manitoba in these large 750 ml bottles. Unibroue makes some of the best and tastiest beer in Canada, but I'm deterred from buying it because each bottle of beer is a commitment.

You see, sometimes 750 ml is more beer than I feel like drinking in a given evening. Now according to the host of that Festivus party, you can cover or recork the bottles and keep them in the fridge for up to 3 days. That may be, but to me keeping an open beer in the fridge overnight is just wrong and immoral. A beer can never be at it's best if it's been open for a day or three.

Sometimes 750 ml is also more than I should drink in an evening. Many of the Unibroue creations have higher than average alcohol content. For example, Trois Pistoles, La Fin Du Monde, and Don de Dieu all have 9% alcohol. That makes 1 (one) bottle of any of those beers the equivalent of drinking 4 (four) 341 ml bottles of any average beer.

To make matters worse, the big bottles are plugged with a cork that's a bitch to get out unless you have a pair of Vise Grips handy.

All of these beer do come in regular 341 ml bottles. I know because I saw it with my very own eyes last time I was in Montreal. I bought a six pack for my hotel room. Can we get these here in Winnipeg? No.

Today MLCC tweeted (yes, they're on Twitter, aren't you?) that they were bringing in Collection Packs from Unibroue.

The Collection Pack is a variety pack containing a couple bottles of different brews (Trois Pistoles, La Fin du Monde, Maudite and La Fringante, according to Cody). This is fine and everything, but the point of a taster pack is to allow somebody to try different beers and find one or two that they like more than others. Once they find that flavour that they enjoy, they're forced to buy the becorked 750 ml bottles if they want to continue drinking it.

Apparently we used to have Unibroue 6-packs here but the distributor stopped bringing them in. This just raises the question about why our beer selections are being limited by a single distributor. How can our beer selection be at the whim of a faceless corporation? Why can't MLCC allow individual beer stores to import their own selection? Why do we even need the MLCC?

One of the quirky search terms that I found when doing my 2012 wrap-up post was "we want beer protest". I think this person may have been on to something. People, it's time for us to rise up and demand more! More choice. More freedom. More beer!

Moving the CP rail yards

The Winnipeg Free Press has taken the dormant issue of moving the Canadian Pacific rail yards out of central Winnipeg and yanked it into the spot light with their special series Off The Rails. I'll concede that it's worth talking about, but why now exactly? Why not? It's a time of change for Canadian Pacific, and that may mean that issues like this will get a fresh look by the new CP honcho, Hunter Harrison.

For those not familiar with Harrison, he was CEO of CN Rail when the CN Intermodal yards on Taylor Ave in Winnipeg were moved to St.Boniface, making way for what is now IKEA and the Seasons Of Tuxedo shopping centre.* He went on to push CN to ever greater operational efficiencies and share prices. After a recent shareholder revolt, he is now CEO of CP and thus in a position to move the CP yards if he deems it necessary. He is already moving forward with plans to consolidate other rail yard operations. The Etobicoke and Agincourt yards in Ontario are apparently being mothballed, and consolidations are coming to the Montreal area I am told.

I still think it's unlikely the Winnipeg CP yards would be moved from where they are now. It would be a massive cost, and therefore would require massive operational efficiencies to make it worthwhile. Harrison is committed to investing in rail infrastructure, but something of this magnitude would probably not be in the cards when there are so many other areas were capital investment is needed. Unless ... it was bolstered by massive public subsidies.

I think all the talk of it being a remedy for our inner-city problems of crime, poverty and homelessness is greatly overblown. Lloyd Axworthy calls the railyards "a psychological barrier between rich and poor". Which side is rich and which one is poor I haven't figured out yet. Both are low income areas plagued with high crime rates. Removing the "barrier" is supposed to allow the socioeconomic well being of the West-End, such as it is, to spread to the North-End. Just as likely is that their respective criminal elements will combine and multiply into a giant crime bomb with it's epicentre being the former rail yards.

I am being a little bit facetious, for those of you who don't know me. I do think some good can come of it, but we need to keep our expectations reasonable. If you plunk a community between two disadvantaged communities, that new community is likely to also be disadvantaged.

*****

Let's assume the rail yards are moving so we can get to the fun stuff. What would we do with all the space?

I would be hard-pressed to draw up a better plan than what Cold Cold Ground cooked up over here, though the Weston area is excluded from that plan. I think what I'll do instead is some more general thinking about the area...

Housing is probably the first thought for most people. Housing and green space. We do have a shortage of affordable housing in this city, but the draw back of this area is that the housing would be sandwiched between the light industrial areas along Logan and Dufferin. However, there is potential to convert some of those buildings into warehouse apartments to better integrate the new and old residential areas.

You have to realize, though, that the appeal of inner-city housing is limited. Especially when it's not in a trendy area like Wolseley. I don't think you can fill the vast area of the CP yards with housing and expect it to be successful, therefore we have to do some creative thinking to make the best use of the area.

Here we go ...

Zone 1: Red Light District

Some of the areas adjacent to the tracks are plagued with prostitution and all the associated troubles. Every so often there is talk of a red light district as a potential solution, but who on earth wants a red light district in their neighbourhood? That's why this area is ideal -- it has no neighbours. At least not residential ones. It's an ideal opportunity to A) draw prostitution away from existing residential neighbourhoods, and B) draw in tourists. Some archaic laws about operating a bawdy house may need to be changed. If you were to make cannabis bars legal for this designated area that would really draw in the tourists. Move over CMHR, there's a new game in town. Throw in a few casinos and you've got a thriving tax-dollar generating mecca in a small area that would be easy to police.

Zone 2: Golf Course

This area is more than large enough to support a full-length championship golf course. This would integrate very nicely with the red light district across the street. Hotels will start springing up in the area, and even I might go there once in a while. (For the golf, not for the hookers .... just to clarify.)

I know that a few months ago I was advocating getting rid of golf courses, but remember: the problem is not too many courses but too many small, crappy, money-losing courses. A medium to high end public championship course would add variety to the golf market here. Meanwhile, some of the existing courses like the Canoe Club are in much more desirable residential areas and could be converted for that purpose.

Zone 3: Residential

Yawn.

I couldn't make everything fun. But what kind of residential and how do you do it? Do you just sell the land to Qualico and let them loose? Should we turn it into a big Manitoba Housing development? We need affordable housing, but we don't want to create "projects".

I like this enclave of colourful little single-story townhouses that was build near the Old Ex grounds just north of the tracks. It's called Flora Place, and was build in 2007 by a government bureaucracy called the Winnipeg Housing Rehabilitation Corporation.

It was heavily subsidized, to the tune of $125,000 per unit, but still appears very well maintained. you get the impression driving by that the occupants take pride in their houses.

Closer to downtown, east of Salter for instance, a higher-density of development might be appropriate. Apartments or perhaps a brownstone-style development...

Throw in a end-to-end strip of green space (not too much) and an AT corridor. That's about as far as I can go with this.The details about deciding which street goes where can come later, but that's my general vision. You can see other people's ideas at the Winnipeg Free Press Café Tuesday evening at 6:00, where a "design summit" will be held.

*He was Chief Operating Officer and Executive Vice President when the decision to move the yards was made, taking the CEO position shortly thereafter and prior to the execution of the plan.

Confusion Corner redesigned and unconfused

The infamous Confusion Corner -- an intersection that makes you cut through a parking lot or down back lanes to get to where you want to go. The thriving and walkable Osborne Village comes to an abrupt end at this tangle of traffic, and the integration of the Rapid Transit station into the fabric of the community is all but impossible as long as it remains in it's current configuration.

In February the blogger ekimsharpe at The Cold Cold Ground devised a new plan for Osborne's confusion corner; essentially a big round-about. Now you know I love my roundabouts, however there will still be a great deal of traffic flowing around this bout, and therefore it still presents a problem.

In the comments of ekim's post, I wrote

Excellent! I applaud your initiative in taking a crack at improving that area. It would be great if a number of people sketched out their designs, and had a brain-storming to work through the best aspects. And.. made city hall listen some how.

Well I thought I should put my crayons where my mouth is (yum) and take a crack at redesigning the intersection and unleashing the ultrawalkable-transit-oriented-urbanity of the Village.

Here's the nut of the problem: you have a great deal of traffic passing through the area, cutting off Osborne Village from anything south including the Rapid Transit station. Much, if not most of that traffic is going straight across from Donald to Pembina, or Pembina to Donald. Anyone wanting to get to or from the rapid transit station has to cross this traffic.

My solution is relatively simple: get rid of the traffic.

The "how" may seem far fetched to you, but keep in mind that cities do this all the time. Calgary is doing it as we speak. That is: build a tunnel. Get that Donald to Pembina traffic underground so that it can bypass the intersection without causing traffic jams, and creating an inhospitable environment for pedestrians. The details of getting it underground need to be worked out, but I envision an end result like this:

I need to rework the tunnel entry points, but the gist is that the outside lanes break off to feed Osborne St. and Corydon Ave, while everything else boots happily along underground. What used to be eastbound Donald St. would become a 2-way street and rebranded Corydon Ave up until the point that the traffic from Pembina rejoins it.

All you are left with at the former crazy corner is an ordinary four-way intersection: the corner of Corydon and Osborne. How iconic would that be? What used to be a big web of crisscrossing traffic could become the most in-demand restaurant and patio spot in the city. Two of the best urban neighbourhoods in Winnipeg would be linked through this intersection. The only traffic passing through would be traffic that wants to go down Corydon or Osborne. The impatient suburbanites racing home to Waverly West from downtown are nowhere to be seen.

Aside from the part about tunneling underground, this wouldn't be that hard to do. All of the roads are essentially in the same place. Donald is re-purposed as Corydon, and McMillan Ave is basically the same, only less fucked up. No buildings would have to be torn down except perhaps to allow for the off ramps where Pembina and Donald are fed underground. Meanwhile the wasteland south of McMillan would be much more accessible, opening up the possibility of true transit-oriented development around the RT depot.

Yes, this would cost money, but just this past month City Hall decided to go off-schedule and spend $300 million on new roads in parts of the city where people don't even live. If the brains at the City of Winnipeg were inclined to build a tunnel, they could build a tunnel. They just might have to delay the next phase of freeways in canola fields.

... the corner of Corydon and Osborne...imagine it!

And to finish off this blog post, here is a photo that I took in New York of what I think is the Holland Tunnel:

The NEW Winnipeg Jets!

What can I say? Amazing first game here in Winnipeg. Just a few of photos from the game:

Hitting the ice:

Last 20 seconds of the first Jets WIN in 15 years!:

Return of the Jets / Portage & Main party

As a Winnipeg blogger I am obligated by an obscure bi-law to write a post about the return of the NHL to our fair city. Okay, I'll do it, but it will be mostly pictures.

The long awaited moment -- even longer awaited than IKEA -- has finally come! The press conference this morning confirmed it. Chipman was professional and passionate in his announcement. Bettman looked like he was telling his patient that he had inoperable brain cancer. Premier Selinger's speech went something like this:

It's such a pleasure to be here for this announcement. It wasn't long ago that we retired Mark Keane's jersey. Mark was such an outstanding player and he sold me a great mattress. No wait, that was David Keane. Haha. Yooooouuuu'll find us! I love that guy! Except he drives too fast. No wait, that was Steve McQueen. Great actor. Loved it when he sang happy birthday to the President. No wait, that was Norma Jean. Norma Jean is not my lover.She's just a girl that says I am the one. Haha. Where was I? Oh right, welcome back to the NFL!

Oh well, we all make mistakes. The important thing is: we're getting the Jets back!

You hear three things as you approach Portage and Main from the south: wind howling through the buildings, beer cans clanking along the road, and the din of a crowd. The closer you get, the more the crowd noise takes over, until you find yourself in the midst of a mob. Here are a few photos and a video of a conga line that eventually encircled almost the entire intersection.

Winnipeg's new NHL team unveiled

The end of the Phoenix Coyotes' season is nigh, and with that comes the announcement of Winnipeg's new NHL team. The accountants and lawyers have worked out all the details under the shroud of a secrecy agreement to prevent information from being leaked out, but it's tricky to keep everything under wraps. And so it is that I have come across some important information, via a friend of the Peanut who happens to be connected with the Chipman family.

Ever since rumours of the Coyotes coming back to Winnipeg started, there has been speculation about what the name might be. Will they be called the Jets again, or something else? If something else, what?

Well, I have the answer for you. And not only that, I have a prototype of their jersey. They will not be called the Jets, primarily for marketing reasons. Virtually everybody in the city has a Jets jersey in their closet at this point, so there will be a new name and new colours, forcing all true fans to buy new gear. The name will have a connection to the City of Winnipeg, it will invoke the pride of Manitobans everywhere, and will symbolize the best of what we have to offer the world.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you:

drumroll....

There is of course a back-up name, in case this one doesn't work out for some reason, though I can't understand how there could possibly be a problem. But just in case: welcome to the Falcons!

(yes, I'm recycling material. Whatcha gonna do about it.)

Frank for President! .. and other Friday stuff

It turns out that there's more than one election going on in these parts. On June 10 my half-blood buddies will be able to go out and vote for President! David Chartrand is running for re-election, as are two other folks: Frank Godon and Robert Nolin. I'm pulling for Frank, who's returning from a stint in Russia teaching English. If I'm not mistaken, Darcey of Dust My Broom fame is part of his campaign team. Also see his Facebook page.

Cybersmoke is calling for more fiscal responsibility from the MMF.

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I know many of you spend hours sitting around and wondering "why can't I find a blog about poutine?" Well, your wondering has been answered.

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I haven't done my Friday video in a while, but here's one for you from Winnipeg break-core musician Aaron Funk, a.k.a. Venetian Snares. Turn this up LOUD. Yes, especially if you're at the office.

Of his many albums, one is called Winnipeg is a Frozen Shithole, and features songs like "Die Winnipeg Die Die Die Fuckers Die".

I'm sure he means that in a nice way.

The Jets are coming!

The rumour mill is churning extra hard these days in Winnipeg: engineers and architects inspecting the MTS centre, the Saskatoon Blades checking out new homes, conversations overheard in the Fairmont Hotel lounge, Gary Bettman sightings in town ... That's right boys and girls: the NHL is coming back to Winnipeg!

The current variation of the rumour started last year, as far as I know. There was a Regina sports reporter who heard something, and this post on a Saskatoon blog last October from "Trusty Rusty":

the Atlanta Thrashers people are in Winnipeg looking over the MTS centre with plans to expand seating to 18,000. It gets better.

The rumour also goes that the Moose would move to Saskatoon and then Jack Brodsky would move the Saskatoon Blades to Winnipeg, giving the MTS a NHL/WHL combo like Edmonton and Calgary.

You have to believe him. After all, he is trusty! Now, every internet forum in town is buzzing.

If the rumours are true, there will be an announcement tomorrow (Thursday) -- right after the trade deadline. So ... it is safe to say that we will be hoisting the Stanley Cup in three years, but what will be the team name on the trophy? According to this Toronto Star article, "The NHL earlier this year contacted Canadian regulators to reinforce its trademark on the Winnipeg Jets name." I heard that the "Jets" name was owned by Barry Shenkarow. Somebody else said that the NHL owned it. I have a vague memory of winning the rights to the name in a coin-snatching competition after a night of Yukon Jack and tequila, but try as I might I cannot find the paperwork.

Regardless, even if Chipman can get rights to the name, the name will probably change so that everybody who currently owns Winnipeg Jets gear (approximately 80% of the city) will have to go out and buy new gear. That means that you and I will need to be prepared to provide input into the team name so that we don't end up with some disaster like The Raptors or Mighty Ducks.

With that in mind, I have come up with some preliminary ideas for team names. Vote for your favourite in the comments or suggest your own! Here we go:

1. The Manitoba Flood
2. The Winnipeg Level 4 Puck Theives
3. Winnipeg World Class
4. The Walleyes
5. Shakin' All Over in the 'Peg
6. The Winnipeg Falcons
7. Hey Everybody, We've Got A Helicopter
8. The Manitoba Monopolies
9. The Volts (in honour of our great hydro resource, you see...)
10. The Voyageurs
    
    and my personal favourite:
    
    
11. The Burtons!

late addition:

12. The Manitoba Rebellion

Roundabout Part II

The roundabout is open! I went through it today and it worked flawlessly. It wasn't rush hour, but there was pretty steady traffic going north and south, and a couple cars coming from the sides, but no problemo ... I got through the intersection quickly and efficiently, without stopping and without breaking the law! Was that so hard?

No. No it wasn't. People say "oh, stupid Winnipeg drivers will never figure out how to use it." Bullshit, says I. When you think about it, using a four way stop requires a lot more discipline, observation and patience than using a roundabout does. These are precious qualities that local drivers have in very short supply. They are rationed like energy wafers in an epic trek across Antarctica. If a Winnipeg driver -- especially one driving a Pontiac -- uses a little bit of brain power to observe what's around them and adjust their actions accordingly and within the law, then that's one little bit of brain power that can never be used again. Therefore it is only used sparingly.

Fortunately, roundabouts require much less observation and patience. It matters not who arrives at the intersection first. All that matters is what the cars approaching from the left are doing. No car? Go on ahead. Don't even bother stopping. I know how you hate stopping. Sure, there will be the odd paranoid driver that will panic and stop when there is no need to, but there's not much you can do about that, other than honk at them or shoot them in the head. (For the record, I don't advocate the later. It's just a hypothetical option.)

I will repeat my earlier statement that every four way stop in the city, where possible, should be replaced with roundabouts when the time comes to do road repairs. Some controlled intersections as well. However, I was looking at photos of Portage and Main and I fear that there may not be enough room there for a roundabout because of the placement of the buildings. Maybe if they just bump it to the east a little ... A guy can dream...

previously: Roundabout Part I

Blog note: The blogger that first noticed that the city was building this round-about, Average City, has disappeared from the world wide web. AC did some good digging on city stuff -- developments and contracts and such. I don't know what kind of traffic he got, but I thought he filled a niche in our little blog community.

Roundabout

Four-way stops suck ass.

Here is a typical experience at a four-way stop:

> Cars A and B arrive at the same time. A is to the right of B
> B waits for A to go because they're on the right, but A isn't sure if they got there first and so waits for B to go.
> C arrives at the intersection, followed by D.
> A and B both start going, then stop to let the other go.
> C says "Fuck it. If you're not going to go then I will" and proceeds through the intersection. Car E pulls up behind him, and car F pulls up behind A.
> D is talking on a cell phone and is only vaguely aware of other cars at the intersection, and so proceeds through out of turn. G pulls up behind him.
> B doesn't want any other cars to go out of turn in front of him, and so goes through the intersection. H pulls up behind him.
> E sees that B is crossing in front of A, and takes the opportunity to go through the intersection.
> F is honking and swearing at A.
> A starts to go, but stops because a pedestrian is starting to cross the road.
> G enters the intersection, but has to stop in the middle of it because of the pedestrian.
> F is having an aneurism.
> G finally clears. H enters the intersection out of turn because he's an impatient asshat.
> A finally goes through the intersection. F follows right on his tail because she's pissed off at having to wait so long.
> etc ...

If four-way stops are stupid, then four-way stops with more than one lane in each direction are downright idiotic. Not only that, they're bad for the environment. Every single car has to some to a complete stop and then accelerate back up to speed. In some neighbourhoods this happens almost every block. No wonder people run the damn things.

Here's what I propose: If space permits, replace every single four way stop with a roundabout. They are efficient, environmentally friendly, and nobody has to remember who got there first or whatever.

City planners have put in the odd roundabout in new developments and on Waterfront Drive, but it is still more of a gimmick or novelty than anything else. We need to start fixing out traffic problems, including our fetish for these retarded intersections that almost nobody handles properly. I think we should develop a 12 year plan to cut the number of four-way stops by 80% by replacing them with roundabouts or regular intersections where ever possible.

I also think it would be cool to see Portage and Main as a roundabout. That would also allow people to turn from northbound Main onto Westbound Portage, which they can't do now. Major intersections in Europe are very often roundabouts and it works very well for them. They often have monuments on the centre island, turning them into something other than your run-of-the-mill meeting of roads. Can you imagine Portage and main with a monument like this one, from the old city hall?
Now that would bring some glory back to Canada's Most Famous Intersection.

h/t Average City for the picture

How do you solve a problem like the Bay

While we're on the topic of fur trading ... I haven't seen the balance sheets for The Bay, but we all know the downtown Winnipeg store is in terrible shape and I suspect the organization as a whole is struggling as well. I think this store needs to re-define itself.

We could start with the logo. First, get rid of the old "the Bay" logo. It's tired and old, just like the store. Plus, if you squint or are stoned, the stylized "B" looks like a cursive "G". The newer Hbc logo isn't bad, but I don't think they hit the mark with that either. They need to simplify it and freshen it up. Make it modern, but include a nod to the history of the company with the old Hudson Bay Co. colours. Maybe something like this:

The new logo is needed because the entire store has to change and modernize. First: stop selling everything under the sun. If you don't make any money off stereos and furniture, then stop selling stereos and furniture. Or sell furniture that people want to buy. Modern stuff that a new generation of people might want to put in their department. Learn from Ikea.

It's not just the furniture department that is stuck in the last century, but the clothes department too. Here's a fact for you: I am just over 6 feet tall, and I cannot buy pants at the Bay. There is not one damn pair of pants in the whole God damned store that fits me. Am I a freak or something? If your inseam is more than 32" you're shit out of luck at the Bay, even if you're shopping for dress pants ... unless you have a 40"waste, then there might be a couple pairs for you. I guess the fat old farts who run the place still think that moms chain smoke when they're pregnant, just like back in their day. Haven't they noticed that 80% of the kids coming out of high school now are over 6' tall? They need to sell clothes for stylish young people (not that I'm one of those) before their demographic dies off.

On my recent travels, I was traveling with my wife which meant that I was frequently in department stores. And you know what? Other stores sell clothes that fit me! Wow, I'm not a freak after all! I would love to see the Bay replace it's entire dated inventory with stock from some of these stores instead of catering to old men and gluttonous couch potatoes.* I'm thinking of stores like Zara, Springfield and Celio. Zara not only sells shirts in small med and large, but in reg slim and super slim. I bought a super slim tee shirt as a snug layer for under other shirts. I feel like a body builder when I wear it. Yeah baby, look at those muscles!

Anyhow, the bottom line is: The Bay has moved on from the days when it sold fire water and beaver pelts, and it's time to move on again.

*no offense to those of you who shop there. I actually do buy some things there. But not pants.

Happy Kwanzaa, everybody!

I had intended to post a feel-good Christmas message, but you know one thing led to another and nothing happened. Now Christmas is over. However, Kwanzaa is just beginning, so please accept my sincerest wishes for a happy and relaxing Kwanzaa.

Now, time to sign off and play with my new Wacom tablet (woo hoo)!.

-- update --

this is my first picture drawn using my new tablet:


Look, it takes some time to get used to it okay? Cut me some slack over here. Geeze.

IKEA

Madeleine Lowenborg-Frick, a spokeswoman for Ikea Canada, said this morning the company has identified a parcel of land in the city that it is interested in developing -fp-

Hmmmmm...


related note: the Bring IKEA to Winnipeg! Facebook group has ballooned to 191 members from 121 this time last year. No wonder they're eyeing us up!

I'll believe it when I see it

The Turtle Man is back!!

In November I wrote that it would be a crime against humanity if Milt Stegall retires without holding up the Grey Cup. Happily, we may be able to avoid that terrible injustice. Milt is back for one more year!

Now let's get another QB with CFL experience, and get focused. There's absolutely NO reason why we can't take this thing home.

Montreal 2008, Baby. Get your tickets now!