Friday 27 January 2012

A Terrible Beer Review

I promise that I will not make any more bad puns with the name of the beer. I can't believe I already did it in the post title. I hate it when newspapers and TV news shows do that stuff. (Well, the Forks has really "gone to the dogs" today, Maralee...). It's just ... so HARD not to do it. I don't know what it is. It's like a mental disorder or something.

The beer, if you haven't figured it out by now, is called "Terrible" and it's brewed by Quebec's Unibroue. Like most Unibroue concoctions, Terrible is beefier than your average beer. This sucker comes in a 750 ml bottle and clocks in at 10.5% alcohol, giving this one beer 5.8 times the alcohol of a single bottle of Bud Light with Lime. (I only had one drink, Ociffer. ONE! [hold up finger for emphasis]) Fortunately it also has 5.8 times the taste.

It is listed on the Unibroue web site under their Specialty beers. You can tell it's a specialty beer because it's plugged with a cork instead of capped. Pulling the cork out with your teeth and pouring the pungent black liquid into your goblet will transport you back to the days of pirate infested waters, and spontaneous brawling in dingy pubs with straw covered floors to win the affections of drunken unshaven women. Unfortunately the cork broke when I tried to pull it out, and my medieval fantasy came screeching to a halt as I searched for a wine opener in my cutlery drawer. In retrospect, I should have bitten the top off the bottle.

It pours with a thick but airy head, with big bubbles and the colour of very lightly toasted marshmallows. After the head dies down this drink is a dead-ringer for Coca-Cola, which could come in handy some time. Store that one away in the memory bank for future reference. Unibroue calls this an "Abbey-style" ale on the web site, and the bottle says it's a "Dark Ale on Lees", whatever the fuck that means. It is tasty though. Imagine a stout and an ale having a baby. Kind of like that. You've got your malty coffee tastes, with dates and brown sugar. The taste fades away after swallowing leaving an light aftertaste not unlike the original thing.

I like this one, but it's more a special occasion beer on account of it being 6 times stronger than Bud Light with Lime. In other words, if it's your day to bring beer to hockey, this is not your drink. I do recommend you try it though. Maybe to share with a friend or to keep to yourself on a slow Friday evening in January. It goes well with leftover beef noodle Hamburger Helper. Probably other things as well, but I can only vouch for the Hamburger Helper. What I'm trying to say is, this beer is not terrible bad.

For other reviews, visit Beer Advocate or check out Cody's review over at The Cranky Beer Blogger.

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