Sunday, 9 September 2012

The quiz master

My responses to Bart Kives' Sunday quiz:

What is Giveaway Weekend?
  > Encouragement for hoarders

What is the official mission statement for the Winnipeg Fire Paramedic Service?
  > Get the fuck out of our way.

What is the preferred alignment for the completion of the Southwest Transitway?
  > Trick question. It will never be completed.

What will Winnipeg Jets fans do if the 2012-13 National Hockey League season is delayed by a lockout?
  > Hate Gary Bettman even more, if that's possible

Which of the following productions would you be most likely to see next year at the Winnipeg Fringe Festival?
  > Apocalypse Now: The Joe Mack Story

Which baseball team will the Winnipeg Goldeyes face in the final series of the American Association playoffs?
  > Wichita Wingnuts. Go Goldeyes!

How far will the University of Winnipeg's downtown campus eventually spread?
  > It is a warm spring day in the year 2086, as Lloyd Axworthy looks down upon his sprawling empire from the top floor of the CanadInns tower. Suspended in a glass tube filled with protein jell, Axworthy has grown tired. "Success," he thinks to himself, "is not as fulfilling as it used to be." Though the Axworthy Institute of Higher Learning, formerly the University of Winnipeg, now fills 80% of the space inside the perimeter Highway, his heart is empty. In actuality, is heart was removed many years earlier and replaced with a neutrino pump, but his *soul* is empty. There is a hole that cannot be filled with shiny new buildings. "Perhaps ..." he thinks .... "perhaps it's time to stop."

What can the Winnipeg Parking Authority do with the empty, shuttered and structurally sketchy Civic Centre Parkade?
  > Swap it with Shindico for a 1/2 acre parcel of land off Wilkes Ave.


Just to give you an idea of the kind of lucrative prizes at stake in Bart's quizes, I won this puppy for a previous entry:

Yes ... that is the old City of Winnipeg logo. Pretty awesome, huh?


John Dobbin said...

Good stuff. :)

Love the Axworthy future.

Anonymous said...

Very funny! Thanx 4 that.

Anonymous said...

Pure genius!

cherenkov said...

John: Thanks.

Anon1: Thanks! You're welcome.

Anon2: Okay, let's not carried away. People are going to think I'm leaving comments on my own blog as anonymous.

James Hope Howard said...

TRULY A MORE INGENIOUS POST MINE EYES HAVE NEVER WIToh dammit I'm still logged in aren't I

Ha ha, nah, but f'real, I really liked the speculative-future-Axworthy bit. Good stuff.

cherenkov said...

Thanks James. I can see into the future. Most people don't know that about me.

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