Friday 5 September 2008

Impalin' the VPILF

I admit that I am not the keenest observer of US politics, but I feel compelled to comment on John McCain's choice for VP, and it's my damn blog so I can comment on whatever the hell I want.

Now, a lot of people have had a lot of things to say about Sarah Palin. Me, I think John McCain picked her for two simple reasons: she is young and she has tits. Because she is young, the average age of the President/VP tandem will be somewhere in the high 50s (58 by my calculations) which should be acceptable to most voters. Because she has boobies, she will automatically capture the disgruntled Hillary Clinton supporters.

I think McCain is wrong. Palin may look a little bit like your sexy high school teacher, but on the inside she's a gun-toting, oil-pumping, vengeful bitch with a knocked-up teenage daughter and a mentally handicapped newborn who she apparently wants nothing to do with1. She's more of a redneck than Ted Nugent. Aside from the bitch part, she has little in common with Hillary. Vengeful Hillary supporters may vote republican, but otherwise I imagine they will be scared off by the creationism, anti-abortionism, and poor environmental record -- vagina or no vagina.

There. That's what I have to say about Palin. I think it was a gutsy pick by McCain, and I expect an interesting and nasty race to the finish line. But I think, ultimately, the gamble will not pay off because, aside from helping to secure the social conservative base, Palin will not pull in the votes that McCain needs.

1 I should explain this statement. Palin has 5 kids. The oldest - Track (named after the marks on the inside of her arm?) - is going off to college, which leaves four. Those four include her daughter Bristol who is pregnant and a newborn Trig (named after the course she flunked in high school? Ok. I'll stop now) has Down syndrome. Now, I'm not saying that a woman cannot work and raise a family at the same time. Far from it. But US VP is no ordinary job. Most working moms would still be able to squeeze in some time to help their kids with their homework, help their daughter plan her shot-gun wedding, help change the diapers, etc. With the responsibilities and learning curve that Palin has ahead of her, she will have ZERO time for her family. So the husband does it, right? You mean the husband that works for BP and also owns a commercial fishing business? Ok. Sure. At least they'll have enough income to hire some really nice surrogate parents.


Anonymous said...

...and this is the blog post that makes me unsubscribe. Being a sexist pig is not becoming of you. Good day.

Anonymous said...

Wow! I think you misread the motives behind McCain's pick. I like the choice, primarily because it's pissing off the right people.

cherenkov said...

You were subscribed? Oh well. Sorry to lose you.

Truth be told, I kind of like McCain's pick as well. Based on what I've seen and heard she'll attack the democrats and give them all they can handle. The VP debate should be interesting.

Sometimes I exaggerate my views for entertainment value. I do feel that she will not bring over many swing voters because of her socially conservative views. I thought he might pick somebody more moderate but he seems to be going after some specific demographics. As for the part about her family, I was only half serious there as well. Really though, for somebody who will be preaching family values every day for two months, she's going to see very little of hers for four years if they get elected.

Anonymous said...

There are several problems with the pick beyond your opinions:
1. It is clearly desperate- McCain is in need of something fast but she won’t be it because what he needs is a well run campaign and he doesn’t have it. Too many people hear “Maverick and POW but think Loose Cannon with Post –Traumatic Stress Disorder”!
2. It highlights his weaknesses - McCain is a poor speaker and he has one foot in the grave; she is an experienced broadcaster and is young. Or in plainer English, she comes off "like Obama -if he were a white chick".
3. She ain’t ready – although she “looks like Obama if he were a white chick”, she is coming off like Gary Hart if he had been a white chick.

cherenkov said...

Hmm. My responses:
1. There must still be people in the GOP who know how to run a campaign. "Loose Canon" is still better than "just like Bush".
2. Interesting angle. I didn't watch his speech, but he seems to be an OK speaker, and I think that's good enough. The American people elected Bush, remember. And if anything, I think Palin's age rubs off on him a little bit. Two old grey-haired guys on stage would be worse.
3. She ain't ready: ya probably not. If McCain kicks the bucket, I wouldn't want her at the wheel. Is Obama more prepared? Depends who you ask.

Anonymous said...

RE: "Hmm. My responses:
1. There must still be people in the GOP who know how to run a campaign."
I didn't say there weren't people in the GOP who could run a campaign; the point was that he hasn't attracted them- or at least enough of them!
American politics runs in cycles tossing out incumbents in bad times so this is "the Democrats to lose" kind of election. The power players don't want to be associated with a loser.

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