Wednesday, 17 December 2008

Last minute gifts

You're Christmas shopping and you're frustrated and you're thinking: "Gosh, what should I get ____ for Christmas? They have everything already. :-(" Then you open up a flyer and go "Look! A hammer that turns into a screwdriver which doubles as a level. They don't have that! :-)"

Don't do it!!! It's a piece of crap!!! It's called a gadget. It's something that is either unnecessary, redundant or tries to combine multiple tasks and ends up being good at none of them. As an example, let me introduce you to the Zibra:
It's a cutter, it's a snipper, it's a slicer, it's a screwdriver! It's a piece of crap!!! How do I know this? Because it tries to do 4 different things at once!

Kitchen gadgets are no better. These often take the form of useless plug-in appliances: electric knives, electric can openers, electric rice makers, etc.. I have a rice maker. It's called a POT!

So you still don't know what to get somebody? My suggestion: booze. Booze is always appreciated. A couple bottles of wine, or a nice bottle of scotch or a bottle of Vodka wrapped up with a bottle of Clamato, Tabasco and Worcestershire. Something like that.

You're welcome.

8 comments:

mrchristian said...

heh - great post !

One year I was out of town a lot before Christmas so when I arrived back I just went to the LC, filled a cart with an assortment of prices and types of bottles and spent the next week doling them out to family, friends and at house parties. If someone got me an unexpected gift, I just switched to a pricier bottle. If someone unexpected called by, just reach into the cupboard and instant gift.

Easiest Christmas EVER.

Nice thing is, when all was said and done I had a nicely stocked wine rack for myself to carry me into the Spring.

cherenkov said...

And then there's that sister-in-law who doesn't drink. Grrr. Why can't she be normal??

Jamie Isfeld said...

Actually, rice makers are incredibly common in households that eat a lot of rice. They do tend to cook rice better than a standard pot.
Plus, they can make a very chewy bread if you use the right recipe.
Millions of clutter-free tiny Japanese apartments can't be wrong!

Also: alcohol as an "everyone gets it" gift is a worse idea than a gift card. Some people don't drink and do get insulted when people don't accept or realize this. I'll stick with getting meaningful requested gifts for people!

Conceited Jerk said...

Nobody buys me booze.

But then, what do you get for the drunk who's had everything?

(need help with Linux and Open Office yet?)

cherenkov said...

Hehe. I knew somebody would defend either rice makers or electric can openers. I've heard that the later can be useful if you have arthritis. Yes, true these things may have their uses but for me, why use a plug-in, space-hogging appliance when it's simple to do without one?

CJ: I would have to be drunk myself before I gave in to the seductive lure of Linux. (I'm picturing a slinky little computer in a red hat right now). Regardless, I'll buy you a martini next time we meet. Consider it a retainer.

mrchristian said...

If you know someone who doesn't drink there are a great variety of neat sodas out there now or mixes that you can drink with or without alcohol. Keep a couple of six packs of pic a pop or something around !

Rowell said...

@mrchristian,

Does pic-a-pop even exist anymore?

cherenkov said...

It does. It's sold as a specialty pop like Stewarts or Jones Soda.

 
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